Thursday, March 24, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Nature
Nature is mighty
Nature is strong
Nature is usually always right
Nature is rarely ever wrong
Nature is beauty
Nature is moody
Nature is smart
Nature always has the greater part
Nature is blue
Nature is green
Nature is every color possibly seen
Nature is true
Nature is beaming
Nature is dreaming
Nature is in every place
Nature is always with grace
Nature is true
Nature is you
Nature is me
Nature will forever be free.
Nature is strong
Nature is usually always right
Nature is rarely ever wrong
Nature is beauty
Nature is moody
Nature is smart
Nature always has the greater part
Nature is blue
Nature is green
Nature is every color possibly seen
Nature is true
Nature is beaming
Nature is dreaming
Nature is in every place
Nature is always with grace
Nature is true
Nature is you
Nature is me
Nature will forever be free.
Gaia’s Plan
Please, don’t sweep the leaves away –
Their essence gives to life’s decay.
Never hack the flowers down –
Their colours bless the laughing clown.
Now why the mowing of the lawn?
The severed grass will lie forlorn.
Let our flora live undressed,
Or under Man, will toil repressed!
I, the tree of standing still –
Erect and proud, and stout of will,
Aglow with motley bark of earth –
Advance my roots for all they’re worth,
Internalising Nature’s bowels
To snag the devil, tweak his jowls
And pull his hairs from whence they grow!
I’ll destroy his pagan show
Of Homo sapiens’ disrespect!
The humble ape must reconnect
With Gaia’s plan!
Their essence gives to life’s decay.
Never hack the flowers down –
Their colours bless the laughing clown.
Now why the mowing of the lawn?
The severed grass will lie forlorn.
Let our flora live undressed,
Or under Man, will toil repressed!
I, the tree of standing still –
Erect and proud, and stout of will,
Aglow with motley bark of earth –
Advance my roots for all they’re worth,
Internalising Nature’s bowels
To snag the devil, tweak his jowls
And pull his hairs from whence they grow!
I’ll destroy his pagan show
Of Homo sapiens’ disrespect!
The humble ape must reconnect
With Gaia’s plan!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Useful Work Phrases in work jokes
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
No, my powers can only be used for good.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me
You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
Who me? I just wander from room to room.
My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
No, my powers can only be used for good.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me
You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
Who me? I just wander from room to room.
My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
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